The Smiling Slave

 

During the Civil war era in the United States, slavery was an obvious point of contention.

There’s no doubt in my mind that many of the slaves’ hearts longed to be happy again. After Abraham Lincoln signed the 13^th amendment, all slaves had been made free. Yet many remained on their plantations for various reasons. Some believed that truly they were free and walked the pathway that lead to their ultimate freedom, while others left one plantation for another.

 

In Christianity, I find that very few believers believe that they are free. They stay enslaved to their hurts, their past, their sorrows, and their pains.

Many of these slaves live in denial. They know deep within their hearts that they are slaves but don’t want anyone to think of them as a slave. So they look for ways that they can put on a smile while remaining a slave.

Some try to convince themselves in their minds that they are not slaves. Some buy into the latest and greatest seven-step program that makes them feel good about being a slave. Some will try to convince themselves and others that the idea of “being a slave” is “relative” and that people shouldn’t get too caught up in it. Others look at the ones who are free to see if there is anything in them that they can criticize so they can feel justified for being a slave. Still others go to great lengths to convince themselves and others that the slavery is in fact a form of freedom!

John 8:32, 36, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

Are you a simply a smiling slave or are you a Christian who lives free from hurts, sorrows, pains, bitterness, and anger?

Discernment

 

 

If a person has paid any attention to “Christian” circles they will have noticed that there is and has been a shift or swing away from practices that have been seen in our churches. I’m not saying that there is no need for change, but I’m also not saying everything needs to change.

There is much debate on what are the things that should change. If one church, preacher, Christian disagrees with another church, preacher, Christians, they resort to name-calling. One side will call the others liberals, compromisers, worldlings or something along that line while the other side fires back by calling them Pharisees, legalists, mean spirited, or something along that line.

Truth be known you’ll find all the above mentioned out there. What surprises me is the lack of discernment that is practiced by churches, preachers, Christians on both sides. I refer to this as ditch jumping. One group thinks/feels that if they can get as far away as possible from the ditch that they were in will find themselves in more freedom or liberty but refuse to notice they’re in the opposiste ditch. The other group see the fallacies of the opposite ditch as greater evils than their ditch so they refuse to move. Both sides point out the failures of the opposite ditch thinking that they are better because they are not in the same ditch, but refusing to see themselves as in a ditch and both are claiming to be balanced and have the right interpretations, explanation, and application.

 

My point once again is the lack of discernment from both sides. We have often been told how banks would train their people to spot or identify counterfeit currency. Their people were taught what real money looked and felt like, therefore if a counterfeit bill came across their desk it was immediately identified.

In Philippians 1 Paul talks about two groups of preachers. Those that preach Christ of contention and the other of love yet Paul rejoiced that Christ was preached. Why and how could Paul rejoice in that? Why did he not feel it was his duty to “call out” all those preachers? The answer is simple, he knew that all of this would turn to his salvation. Even though some were looking to add affliction to his bonds the reality would be that Christ would be magnified in his body. This does not mean that error goes untouched in the local church setting, for Paul obviously did that.

 

So what can we draw from that? I would suggest that we live the difference. Live Christ and him crucified, live the opposite of all that you’re now criticizing and stop practicing the exact same tactic from the opposite ditch with your slant on it. Paul knew that as long as Christ was preached, no matter from what crowd, that that message would line up with his life and sooner or later people would see that the message of Christ matches that man of Christ.

 

As Christians let’s practice a bit of discernment and stop reacting to the crowd that we think has lost their bearings with the same antics, cute sayings, comeback, or insults and condescending statements that have been used against you. Live the difference that the gospel makes and you’ll be surprised at how the Lord will be magnified in you.

Spiritualized Narcissism

We seem to be living in a day where the sense of entitlement has been normalized. Instead of this narcissism being viewed as the arrogance that it is, it has become an accepted behavioural pattern. 

Although this is something that looks normal in our world and society has adjusted its practice to accommodate for this, it continues to surprise me how prevalent it is in our Christian circles. 

God is a God of order (1Cor.14:40), and in Titus 1:5 we see Paul instructing Titus saying, “that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting,” yet structure and order, although it is desired it seems to be despised when that “order” affects the entitled individual.

Think with me about a family. God has order, He’s placed a father and a mother as parents in the home, and yet many times the children feel entitled to everything the parents have as their own. Often, they feel that they are “above the rules” of the home. As they get older, they may even balk at curfews or potential “friends” they are allowed to have.

Recently I was listening to a comedian as he was joking about how much his teenagers “knew”. He said he would make stuff up that didn’t exist and tell his teenager about it, and they would say “I know”.

In many ways we have spiritual teenagers in our churches today. They know it all. They know everything the pastor should or shouldn’t have done, they can’t be instructed or lead because they know it all, following the pattern in Romans 1 where they are “Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools”. They know motives that don’t exist, they know actions that never happened, they know all the insults that were never given, they know all the hypothetical outcomes of situations that never came to fruition, I mean they just know it all.

I’m sure that many a parent has looked at their teenager who is trying hard to “act like an adult” and smiled with admiration of how mature they are attempting to be. While they do not criticize them, and they give them credit for what they’re doing right, they can still see the traces of immaturity in the same teenager that is doing their best to grow up and be mature in their life, and as far as the teenager goes, they truly do believe that they are acting in a mature manner.

The same idea is true in Christianity. As the “spiritual teenager” flounders around they are convinced in their mind that they are acting in a mature way. They take to Facebook or other social media outlets to vent out their grievances and as long their friends and groupies jump on board with their positions, they have their insecurities vindicated, a sense of achievement, or being solidified that their position is correct. 

In our homes when we have our teenagers changing from adolescence to adulthood there is a range of emotions and hormonal changes taking place which often leads them to lash out, blame their siblings or parents for the very things that they themselves are guilty of.

Again, Christianity finds the same similarities. The “spiritual teenager” has spiritualized his/her narcissism. Their gaslighting they don’t see, their own immaturity they don’t see, their own sense of entitlement they don’t see, their abuse of others they don’t see, their exploiting of others they don’t see, their own irresponsibility they don’t see, and if their parent or pastor ever comes around to point it out, their immediate reaction is that of self defense and quickly points out the error of those in authority over them. 

These “spiritual teenagers” thrive on drama, you’ll notice that they don’t have many long-lasting relationships. They have issues with authority structures. They feel those that don’t see things as they see them are not “real”, but rather puppets, goodie two shoes, or brainwashed individuals etc. You will often see a trail in their past of repeated behaviours with repeated results. They don’t seem to have a sense of shame or guilt for the damage their immaturity has caused in the lives of others, they feel justified in behaving they way they do. In fact, they will often brag of the trail of destruction they’ve created and how many people they were able to pull along with them, and when things don’t go as planned, they blame the parent or pastor that tried to correct them in the first place.

The bible says in 1Jn.4:20 that if a man says he loves God and hates his brother he is a liar. In other words, your horizontal relationship is the picture of what your vertical relationship truly is. How you treat your spouse reflects your relationship with God, your reaction to authority reflects your view of God’s authority, your treatment of believers is a picture of your treatment of God. 

The spiritual narcissist can hardly see the connection between these two points. They feel their hearts are right with God as they attack the very church that Christ died for.

A person may wonder how to deal with this type of “spiritual teenager”?  Ecclesiastes 3:7 tells us that there is a time keep silence, and a time to speak. We can see in Lk.15 that there are three different scenarios. With the sheep and the coin we see that the person seeking after.  In the case of the first two, they were lost somewhere along the way. There is a difference here and that is with the first two we see them as lost, but the third you see him leaving. The third picture in this chapter we see the kind of narcissist that we’ve been talking about. He assumed it was his right to demand his heritance. He felt he knew better than his father. He thought if he would control his destiny life would turn out better.

The father on the other hand allowed his son to go the direction that he was determined to go. Notice though, that the father never once chased his son down the road begging him not to go. You’ll notice the Jesus told the rich young ruler what the issue was, but never chased him down the road as he walked away.

On the other hand, the father never ceased looking and longing for his sons return, but had enough knowledge to know that his son needed an experience where he would “come to himself” and realize his wrong.

I would encourage each person if you’ve experienced a person who has or is spiritualizing narcissism to live the difference that Christ makes in your life. In Genesis 26 Isaac walked away from two wells that he had dug because contention and strife were attached to those wells. Likewise, live the difference that Christ makes and leave the wells of contention and strife to those who feel they need to conquer and own them. Enjoy the goodness and blessings of God, and leave off contending with the spiritual narcissist.